To Our Baby

Over the past year I have started writing to our baby.  It helps me to heal and think.  I've always been one to write out how I'm feeling.  In addition to posting some of the letters here I also hand write them into a little journal that I am keeping for our baby.  The letters on this page are arranged in chronological order with the older letters being at the bottom.  

Dear Baby,

I know that motherhood will be hard.  But I also know it will, undoubtably, be so worth it and so precious.  The other day I woke up thinking "wait a minute!  I don't know how to take care of a baby!"  But then I realized that everything would be fine.  I know the Lord will watch over us and bless us as we do our best.

So I know somedays will be hard.  I know we will be tired.  But I also know that you will be more precious to me than any amount of sleep, any monetary item, or any free time.  I know that the good moments will always outweigh the hard and I know I can always turn to our Heavenly Father, whose child you truly are.

So even though motherhood will be hard, I would much rather have busy and tired and full arms than having empty ones.  You will be my sunshine.


 For This Child
by Emily Condie
For this child have we prayed. 
For this child have we hoped.  
For this child have we cried.  
For this child that is ours.  

For this child have we loved.  
For this child who was sent.  
Who was sent from up above.  
For this child that is ours.  

For this child came to Earth 
Through bodies not our own.  
For this child had a plan.  
For this child that is ours.  

For this child God prepared. 
For us to love and have and hold.  
For this child was our own.  
For this child that is ours.  

For this child we long knew.  
For this child we now hold.  
For this child sent to us.  
For this child that is ours.  

Dear Baby, 
I'm not really sure how to start writing to you.  All I know is that I love you.  I know you are with your Heavenly Father right now.  And possibly with your great grandma Shirley.  I wish and hope and pray that you will come to daddy and I soon.  We can't wait for you to come.  We've been waiting for about four years now and have been thinking and dreaming about you so much!  Every time I think of you I feel so happy but also sad because I wish you were here with us already!

I know when you do come that you may not have my eyes or hair or nose.  But I hope you will have your daddy's heart and kindness.  And your grandma's optimism and your grandpa's playfulness and your uncle's cheerfulness, etc.  I hope you know that you are our baby and that you were always meant to be and always will be in our family.

I can't hardly wait until you arrive.  You will be such a gift from our Heavenly Father.  And whoever your birth mother is, please know that she made the best choice for you.  She didn't give you up, but gave you more.  I hope you always know and never doubt these things, just as I hope you never doubt that you are meant to be ours.

Your daddy and I have prayed for you and have envisioned the day when you will be sealed to us for time and all eternity.  No matter the weather, rain or cold, hot, sunny, that day will be the most beautiful day.  Because we will finally have you and you will be ours forever.  And that is all we've wanted.

I love you.