there must be a reason.

“I believe we have all been created for greater things than we can comprehend." 

{Elder Jeffrey R. Holland}

I believe that God has a plan.  

There must be a reason.  

I have to believe that there has to be a reason that we were diagnosed with this one kind of infertility that cannot be changed through surgery or through medication.  Sometimes, because I'm crazy, I try to research treatment options that I haven't seen before.  Like maybe if I look long enough and hard enough I will find that it can be done, it has been done.  But instead I just find gems like the one that read "most obstructions of this kind can be surgically repaired...except for the one that we have."  

But I know it must all be for a reason.  

Richard and I, we're going to do great things.  

Our little family, well, we're going places.  

We'll find our babies.  

And we'll find our babies that truly need us.  

And we'll be strong for them.  

Because we'll be their family and they'll be our babies.  

Even though they may not come via maternity pants, cute ultrasounds, and hospital bags.  

But they'll come eventually.  

And their stories will be beautiful and unique, just as they will be.  

Just as our family will be.  

We'll be blessed to have a family full of many hair and eye and skin colors.  

We'll be blessed to see places and meet people that we may never have been blessed 

to see and meet before.   

We'll be blessed to change lives.  And others will be blessed to change ours.  

Our babies will be blessed to be loved by more than one family.  

And we will be blessed to bring not only babies into our family 

but also beautiful birth mothers and families. 

And so - this Christmas I will not ask myself "why not us?  when will it be us?  

why is this happening to us?   

Instead I will tell myself - "Of course, us.  We have something of divinity in us.  We were created for greater things.  Heavenly Father trusted us with this for a reason.  We were created for far more than we can understand now.  But someday we will understand.  

Someday everything will make perfect sense.  

And in that day we will be able to see the perfect reason.